There isn't too much to report on for this first of two full days in Colombo, so today's blog will be very different, as it will be an attempt to tell you a little bit about 'my story' and why Blackpool has a special significance for me in my life. Each one of us has our own story, and many of you reading this blog will be aware of some of mine, but for others it may come as a bit of a surprise, as I don't often share it, although it is quite a fascinating one.
My story today begins with the torn photograph below:
As you can probably tell, this is a very old photograph (and not the clearest, sadly) taken at the wedding of Thomas Ryan (born on 27th April 1871) to his first wife Bridget in 1901. This photograph is taken outside the family farmstead in Coolnadown, near Emly, in County Tipperary in Ireland. Thomas (the tallest guy, third from the left in the picture) is my grandfather. To the left of him is Patrick Ryan (my great grandfather) who was 79 in the 1901 census, so he was born in 1821 or 1822 just over 200 years ago (I don't know his date of birth, but he died on 3rd November 1903, a couple of years after this photograph was taken). He was around 50 years old when Thomas was born, which is why I am able to have a photograph in my possession of a member of my family who was born over 200 years ago, a fact that I find quite amazing now! It's pretty cool, isn't it!
Sadly, Thomas and Bridget's marriage was childless, and she died sometime after the 1911 census, when they had been married for just over 10 years. Thomas then married my paternal grandmother, Margaret Horan, on 11th February 1918, and they had 8 children, the third of which was my father Edmond (known as Eddie), who was born on 16th June 1921, and married my mother, Ena Roden, on 30th August 1950. I have this photo of them below, which was an 'official' one he sent back to Ireland to his family, with a note on the back of it in his handwriting. (I know it is his handwriting because I have two original letters from him that he sent home, which are very precious to me!).
My parents had 6 children, Denis, Christine (who died shortly after she was born), Michael, Patricia (who died in infancy), Angela, and me. My father was in the RAF, and my sister Angela and me were born in Singapore, whilst he was stationed out there.
I was born, Edward Joseph Ryan, on 28th March 1958, in Singapore, almost 66 years ago now, and very sadly, my mother died two days after I was born. My father was unable to cope with three surviving children plus a new-born baby, so we were flown back to the UK, and sent to a Catholic Rescue Agency called Nazareth House in Bristol. Within months, my father had remarried, and returned to the UK with his new wife to collect Denis, Michael, and Angela from the orphanage, but I was left to be adopted, which didn't happen until I was 14 months old, so I spent the whole of the first year of my life in this orphanage. I imagine that I received a good level of care from the nuns who looked after me, but it could never really have been a substitute for a mother's love in that first year of my life.
My parents adopted me in May 1959, and my mother decided to change my name to Keith, so I became Keith John Ledbury. It was only years later, partly because I studied for a degree in Psychology, that I appreciated the significance of this, and was able to come to terms with the attachment disorder and separation anxiety that was a key part of my life as a child and a teenager. I always knew that I was adopted, but for some reason, my mother believed that I had three older brothers, not two brothers and a sister. I also always knew that my mother died when I was born, but it was only years later that I found out that she died on 30th March 1958, two days after I was born. As a child I felt very guilty that my mother had died, yet I had lived, and I remember very vividly thinking for a long time that it ought to have been the other way round.
The information that I have shared above, only came to light after I married my wife Val, and our first son, Joe was born on 12th July 1987. I used to watch him at night, when he was just a few months old, and think that for the first year of my life I had no parents, and it made me a lot more inquisitive to discover more about my birth family, which I eventually did towards the end of 1988.
Of course, there is so much more that I could say here, and my life became more complicated than you can possibly imagine, but the main thing that I wanted to explain here is why Blackpool has such significance to me. I had no idea what my birth parents looked like until I was 30 years old, and the picture of my parents above was the first photograph that I ever saw of them. They met, got married, and lived in Blackpool for a short time, before my father moved around with the RAF, eventually to Singapore, where I was born. When I ended up living in Blackpool in Nuwara Eliya, Sri Lanka, it felt quite remarkable - almost spooky - even more so in some ways, as Val's grandmother was from Bury, but retired to Blackpool, and Val spent many happy occasions with her granny in Blackpool.
Another rather unusual coincidence for me, having had two fathers and two mothers, is that my elder granddaughter Isabella was born on 12th January, which was the date that my adoptive father died, and my younger granddaughter, Esther, was born on 14th February, which was the date that my biological father died. It serves as a poignant reminder to me of new life replacing old life over time, and that none of us can stop the passing of the years.
I now look at the first photograph here, which includes my great grandfather, Patrick Ryan, and I wonder what he would have made of me as one of his great grandchildren! I have had an extraordinary life, and what I have shared here is just a tiny segment of 'my story', but I feel very fortunate to have lived the life that I have, and my experiences over the past 5 years in Sri Lanka have been an amazing part of that, and, hopefully will continue to be a significant part of my life for many years to come!
The photograph below is of me and my biological big sister, Angela (born just 18 months before me on 23rd July 1956 - Val and I got married on 23rd July 1983, on Angela's 27th birthday - before I ever met her - so I never forget her birthday now!). It was taken on a recent long weekend that Val and I spent with Angela and her husband Mike in Ireland, where they currently live. She didn't enter my life until I was 30, but it has been lovely to have had her as part of my life for the past 35 years, and I have now known her for longer than I didn't know her!
P.S. I spent this evening with Colombo West Rotary Club. Who would have thought that a young lad, whose great grandfather and father were very poor homesteaders in County Tipperary in Ireland, and whose adoptive father was a car mechanic, and adoptive mother was a hairdresser, would one day be hobnobbing with the Colombo elite on the 9th floor of the amazing Courtyard by Marriot Hotel in Colombo, Sri Lanka! I have learned to get on with people from all levels of society, but the truth is that I usually feel most comfortable with those people near the bottom, who have very little in life, because although I have reached a point in my life where I am now very comfortably off, I started life in an orphanage, with not even parents to call my own, so I have a heart for people who struggle in life, and maybe that's why I have enjoyed my work with the people in the Hill Country of Sri Lanka so much.
I leave you with the song that I was singing as I got back to my room at The Colombo Swimming Club this evening, as it just about says it all about the amazing life that I have led! It is Frank Sinatra's version of 'Fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you, if you're young at heart.' It explains why, at almost 66, I am still just going on 16! I might try to grow up a little one day, but for the time being, growing old disgracefully has a much stronger appeal for me!
Although I have heard snippets from your life story before, I didn't know about the Blackpool connection or the anniversary coincidences. Everything you say suggests that - however separated from natural family you must have felt for so long - you have come to value your identity as a Ryan. Very moving, and (may I add) your own facial features reflect those of your parents - beautifully!
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